She left

I was sitting there, staring at the empty room. Five minutes ago she was there saying goodbye like it was a normal thing to do. But… But how could I get use to it?

The thing about trying to have the world is kind of simple. You won’t get it. You never will. It’s impossible to have and see everything. It’s impossible to keep everyone.

She left. She was smiling at me for the last moment. Her eyes were shining and I could see her happiness and sadness at the same time. That’s because we both were happy and sad. But I’m just sad now since I can’t see her smile anymore.

Going out there is breaking my heart. Every single day. This wasn’t suppose to be worse with goodbyes. As Bilbo Baggins use to say “it’s a dangerous business going out of your door”.

She left. She could stay hours talking to me about anything. She could and she stayed, for eight months. But the world called for her again and she needed to cross the ocean.

She left and I’m sitting here by myself, wondering if someday I would be able to understand this nostalgic feeling. Because staying might be worse than taking the airplane. Somehow I’m leaving as well.

I wonder now if she knows she is not alone, I wonder if she knows she was important to me. I don’t know if I was able to express it as it should be. I don’t know if crying would be the answer for it.

It isn’t simple to say “Thank you for everything and I wish you all the luck in this world.” Even when I mean it with all my heart. It’s not simple and it doesn’t seem enough.

To all my friends, to those who are always there somewhere.

Travelling with last money than you need

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I decided to come to Italy for two weeks right on the Easter time, of course I knew nothing would e actually cheap since it was terrible to book hostels. Then I tried to go for couchsurfing but since I’m traveling with friends it’s hard to find a place for all of us.

So I needed the money for the hostels. And that’s I got, also it isn’t cheap to go from one city to another. The trains are between 7€ and 60€ and even the buses are not that cheaper.

Firstly I went to Venice (the flight was really cheap then to Verona and Bologna. Now I’m writing from Florence. Till now I got two rides for 5€ from the Blablacar and one train. And since I was really excited about Italian food in the beginning I ate more than I should pay for it. So it’s the third day I’m going to the supermarket looking for deals and eating less.

It’s kind of sad not eating as much as you should in Italy. But ok, it’s necessary. I’m in Florence and I could stay three days without eating just to see all the museums and lovely stuffs they got here.

When you travel you kind of start to summarizing your life to eat, sleep and walk. You take off some of the usual a necessities and make everything as simple as it can be. From that I learned I didn’t need to buy more cream and I didn’t need a dessert. Also I didn’t need to stay with a good hair all the time and to do nail polish.

I need to eat, especially lasagnas and gelatos. I need to walk, the streets are unbelievable. I need to drink water (because we all need). I need to laugh and stay in the line to see Dante’s museum. I also need some rides because the train ticket to Rome is fucking expensive.

I have the money for the hostels, 10€ for food for each day. Some for museums and way less than I’m gonna need for the transport. But that’s ok. Believe me, you can do a great job if you pay attention on your on needs.

Make a list of what you really think is necessary and start to cut off some of the things.

I also realized I need a internet and this is annoying me. You know, most of us now can’t even walk around without looking at the screen. I need to look at my phone from hour to hour.

It shouldn’t be this way. I couldn’t changer this from nothing. But for now I can at least stop checking what’s app.

I have to check something else. I have to check Rome and the food for tomorrow.

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For the right to listen to One Direction

I was coming back from a Makeup shopping when I met a friend in the streets, I didn’t realize I was singing one direction before talk to him.

He stopped, his face was terrified and he said in a really disappointed that he didn’t expect that from me. Firstly, I was like “what?” And then I understood it was because of the teenage song I was singing, the kind of music he thinks it’s terrible and only dumb 12 years girls listen to it.
But well, I don’t know you, but I kind of like to listen to this kind of songs somethings. It’s not my favorite, it will never be. It’s not the song I play in the night while I’m trying to find myself. But it’s the once I sing coming back from a shopping day. Is it that bad?

Even so I have an amazing background about music in my family. I think since I was 15 I didn’t spend one single night without listen to some progressive rock songs. Actually, I already proved I knew more about it than this friend who was disappointed with me.

So I think music is like any other art expression. Somedays you want to watch a really funny movie and you don’t turn to Godfather, somedays you just watch American pie and you are good with it. This friend loves American Pie. But well, he never thought about how bad it’s the movie if you think about acting and production stuffs? Don’t know. You might like everything or nothing and even so watch everything you want.

With music, it’s the same. Music is expression, it’s human. The problem is not if you are listen to one direction, it’s if you only listen to it. Music should be free, should be freedom. You must listen to everything and try to know all about it. You will never do it though. But you can’t stay in the same kind your whole life. It’s sad.

It’s sad how some people keep listening to the style, complaining bout how music were better 50 years ago. But that’s not true. I believe music changes as humanity does. And all you have to do is look for it. You might find really good stuff, you’d rather stay listen to old famous and complaining about the new famous?

It’s just numbers by the end. You cannot, you must not stop in time. As all the art expressions music can also be with you. Should also be with you. and how could that be possible if you only stay by one station? Thinking that you are right and everything else wrong?

In the 50’s or 60’s, old people were complaint about rock n’roll. It was an evil thing from young and dumb people. Do you really want to look like somebody from the 60’s? Isn’t better to pfree your mind from it?

I’m not saying we all should listen to boybands. I’m just saying we all should listen to something new, good or not, at least once. It’s bad to read the same kind of book every year, you lose more than you gain.

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Italy, Venice and Ice cream.

Venice is the First stop from my third eurotrip, which isn’t actually eurotrip since I’m gonna to stay only in Italy. Well, this country is amazing and deserve more than one week around. Actually, two!

Venice, Verona, Florence, Pisa and Rome. Unfortunately I’m not gonna be able to visit my lovely Corneoles, but I’m gonna be back for then ASAP.

This city has the most amazing ice cream I had in life. You should try the venezziano and lemon. Maybe Nutella or whatever, I’m sure anyone should be good.

Firstly, sorry about the late, but spring break is here and we are back to road!

Some stuff that I found for now: if you come to Italy, eat! Try most of the pizzas, lasagnas and ice creams. Do not leave without eat! Don’t go to mc Donald’s or BK! Eat local food, it’s amazing (and not that expensive).

I have way more things to say but for now (typing from the iPhone since I have no free wifi in the hostel) the good is the first and specially subject. I’m coming back asap. And if you are around, let me know.

I’m missing you already

Just now, this weekend I realized I’m about to say goodbye to most of the people that I met in the last year. Probably I’ll never see again most of them. Or heard the laughs or keep the jokes. It is like I came, I had a great and important time and I’m coming back to real life like nothing had ever happened. 

Most of them are people I would never meet, never talk or even see it. But here they are, on my facebook photos, on my phone, in my books and in my heart. I’ve never thought I could meet and make so many friends and be as happy as somebody could be. I learned how to be friendly and kind with them, even when I wasn’t actually friendly with most of them. 

When I come back, I’m sure I’m gonna stay some nights looking at the photos and listening to my mind while it tries to bring everything back again. Back to my life, nothing would change that much, but inside myself I feel like I couldn’t never be the same. I’m not the same. You can see this (or at least I can) when I look at the first photo of all of this, the one I took with a girl in the airport. We were all with the wondering eyes and exciting minds.

Could we guess how brilliant and different all of this would be? No. As somebody who didn’t make new friends for a while, having a lot of them was fantastic. Laugh about anything and watching really terrible movies at 3 am wouldn’t never be my guess for this trip. How could it be?

After so many countries, so many cities and beers I realized (truly this time) there is nothing more beautiful than having people around you. You need to go by yourself to see the world is not as bad as it seems to be, life can be way better if you just believe on it. Firstly, believe in yourself and then trying to do the same with someone around you. 

You might travel the whole world and get nothing for yourself if you don’t believe. 

Right now I believe in myself, in believe in my friends back home and I believe in the new people I just met.

I believe in the French girl (I’d rather see her again than see Paris) who is the most kind person I’ve ever met, in the beautiful Belgium friend I have (the most important thing in Belgium, despite beers and chocolates). And the Dutch and the other French who sometimes seems to be exactly like me and make me believe I can actually be normal. I believe in my flatmate, despite he might be the most annoying guy I saw in my entire life. In my neighbours and classmates, they can make me laugh about myself and about anything (even water). In the Russian guy who has the same sense of humour (and hate) that I do and understand me more than myself sometimes.

I believe they all can be something good for this world as they are for myself. I also believe as a wish that they all could have the best on their lives, I’m probably not gonna see them for a while but this doesn’t change anything. I’m probably gonna miss them for a while, but well I’m already missing. 

 

St Patrick’s day in Ireland

St Patrick's day in Ireland

Well, well…
I found some green clothes and I changed my hair colour to some really strong hair to force the Irish stereotype, also I got some beers. Some! To celebrate what should be the most traditional and well-known celebration in Ireland. And well, it worth it.
I spent the whole day with my friends drinking and partying for something that we didn’t know actually. Firstly, Paddy’s day is not that big parade for the Irish people as we use to think. Most of my Irish friends went back to their homes to stay with their families, most of them also don’t like the Dublin’s mess. But the leprechauns were everywhere.

But Paddy’s day made me realize one thing: my time here. I’ve been out of my own country for seven months (and probably gonna be for 2 or more) so I just realized what I’ve done. I made incredible friends, I got some really good alcoholic resistance and I also had said more goodbyes than I wanted.

So what I’ve celebrated in St Patrick’s day was all the good things that Ireland brought to me. All the friends, all the days of fun and totally out of any preoccupation. Just doing what I wanted and being happy with what I have.

What Paddy’s day means to me now – despite some really green clothes, a strong orange hair colour and hangover – is the summer of my life. The strong and loyal happiness that I’ve build and – with the Irish luck – I might keep it.

Thank you, Patrick. Thank you Ireland for changing my life.

Making friends again

I can’t say I was unfriendly but for last five years (before leave my hometown) I was with the same friends, I didn’t actually talk to new people, only for daily stuff as college or work. I was use to the same people, the same old and good friends and I actually thought I didn’t have to make new ones or even talk and try to. 

But when I decided to go abroad and leave the routine behind and realized that not talking to new people – and when I say talk I mean really try to get to know them – was forcing me to go even deeper on my own routine. And well, the boredom from this routine was one of the reasons of my dissatisfaction. So when you go abroad you are forced to try to make new friends somehow – maybe for your own nature or maybe for the whole social thing – it is easier to get close to people at least for the beginning. 

So now I can say I have more people who I’m always talking to than before, even I’m living here only for six months, of course only a few of them are actually close friends but when I say “making friends” it isn’t only about those who you know everything about it, it’s also about those people who sometimes invites you for dinner or a drink. 

What I realized from now it’s that people are as effective as cities when you really want to change your reality. You don’t actually need a new place to change, you just need a new subject to talk sometimes and this kind of thing you can find easily. You just have to look in the corner, be kind with somebody, ask how as the day and smile. It is not that hard, communication it is not that hard, the huge problem is that we make ourselves unable to trust and listen to others and when you open your mind for this you can communicate and get to know people even in languages that you are not fluent in.