I’m missing you already

Just now, this weekend I realized I’m about to say goodbye to most of the people that I met in the last year. Probably I’ll never see again most of them. Or heard the laughs or keep the jokes. It is like I came, I had a great and important time and I’m coming back to real life like nothing had ever happened. 

Most of them are people I would never meet, never talk or even see it. But here they are, on my facebook photos, on my phone, in my books and in my heart. I’ve never thought I could meet and make so many friends and be as happy as somebody could be. I learned how to be friendly and kind with them, even when I wasn’t actually friendly with most of them. 

When I come back, I’m sure I’m gonna stay some nights looking at the photos and listening to my mind while it tries to bring everything back again. Back to my life, nothing would change that much, but inside myself I feel like I couldn’t never be the same. I’m not the same. You can see this (or at least I can) when I look at the first photo of all of this, the one I took with a girl in the airport. We were all with the wondering eyes and exciting minds.

Could we guess how brilliant and different all of this would be? No. As somebody who didn’t make new friends for a while, having a lot of them was fantastic. Laugh about anything and watching really terrible movies at 3 am wouldn’t never be my guess for this trip. How could it be?

After so many countries, so many cities and beers I realized (truly this time) there is nothing more beautiful than having people around you. You need to go by yourself to see the world is not as bad as it seems to be, life can be way better if you just believe on it. Firstly, believe in yourself and then trying to do the same with someone around you. 

You might travel the whole world and get nothing for yourself if you don’t believe. 

Right now I believe in myself, in believe in my friends back home and I believe in the new people I just met.

I believe in the French girl (I’d rather see her again than see Paris) who is the most kind person I’ve ever met, in the beautiful Belgium friend I have (the most important thing in Belgium, despite beers and chocolates). And the Dutch and the other French who sometimes seems to be exactly like me and make me believe I can actually be normal. I believe in my flatmate, despite he might be the most annoying guy I saw in my entire life. In my neighbours and classmates, they can make me laugh about myself and about anything (even water). In the Russian guy who has the same sense of humour (and hate) that I do and understand me more than myself sometimes.

I believe they all can be something good for this world as they are for myself. I also believe as a wish that they all could have the best on their lives, I’m probably not gonna see them for a while but this doesn’t change anything. I’m probably gonna miss them for a while, but well I’m already missing. 

 

St Patrick’s day in Ireland

St Patrick's day in Ireland

Well, well…
I found some green clothes and I changed my hair colour to some really strong hair to force the Irish stereotype, also I got some beers. Some! To celebrate what should be the most traditional and well-known celebration in Ireland. And well, it worth it.
I spent the whole day with my friends drinking and partying for something that we didn’t know actually. Firstly, Paddy’s day is not that big parade for the Irish people as we use to think. Most of my Irish friends went back to their homes to stay with their families, most of them also don’t like the Dublin’s mess. But the leprechauns were everywhere.

But Paddy’s day made me realize one thing: my time here. I’ve been out of my own country for seven months (and probably gonna be for 2 or more) so I just realized what I’ve done. I made incredible friends, I got some really good alcoholic resistance and I also had said more goodbyes than I wanted.

So what I’ve celebrated in St Patrick’s day was all the good things that Ireland brought to me. All the friends, all the days of fun and totally out of any preoccupation. Just doing what I wanted and being happy with what I have.

What Paddy’s day means to me now – despite some really green clothes, a strong orange hair colour and hangover – is the summer of my life. The strong and loyal happiness that I’ve build and – with the Irish luck – I might keep it.

Thank you, Patrick. Thank you Ireland for changing my life.

New and old package.

There was nothing else to do but wait. Wait for the train and for what should come after that. Wait for the flight, for the bus and then for the new life. While waiting she turned on the cellphone, it was off since she left home so there was no need to see all the same posts again. But as I said before, there was nothing else to do.

The internet was on and she could read all the updates on facebook about people’s life. Another common thing that you can not run away anymore. All you need is internet to know that your aunt is on a new diet. Nothing important she checked, nothing but people editing their lives to any person who can reads. Turned off, it was a new phase, maybe one without social network, but let’s be honest who can actually live without it nowadays? Especially when you are going far away from what you know. Everybody was editing, she would probably do the same. She wouldn’t post about how lonely was to wait for the train, but people would definitely see how amazing was the new city ahead.

The idea of changing his life was still there. But can you actually do that? Can you actually just take the train and change everything? Well, the answer in most of the cases is: no. You can’t. You’re gonna to watch yourself watching some stuff on internet while you try to rebuild what you was used to. And then you can realize it will always be with you, even when you change everything else. But by the end of the day, in the boredom of the station, this is not a bad thing. She laugh, her mother was just sending pictures of her brother sleeping.

The train came, the phone was off again – it would be a good thing for someone who was always addicted to networks -. A book still a better company for a trip than a iPhone. When she got in there was nothing else to worry about. The good things were in the package and the bad ones left behind somewhere else. Like an old cliché.

You always get the feeling that something might be wrong when you leave a place, even when you don’t have actually sure what else is ahead. But this feeling is older than we all think and it is universal. You can see it in the eyes of those who are always leaving and in the eyes of those who never left. The fears and the doubts are all the same, it might change the address once or twice, but when you leave some of them behind, be sure you will find a whole package full of new ones when you arrive at the destination. But again, that’s not a bad thing, it wasn’t for the one waiting for the train, it wouldn’t be for you.

In life, all that we do is replace the old package for a new one. Sometimes you don’t even need to take a train to do it, sometimes you just need to turn off the cellphone for a while.