She left

I was sitting there, staring at the empty room. Five minutes ago she was there saying goodbye like it was a normal thing to do. But… But how could I get use to it?

The thing about trying to have the world is kind of simple. You won’t get it. You never will. It’s impossible to have and see everything. It’s impossible to keep everyone.

She left. She was smiling at me for the last moment. Her eyes were shining and I could see her happiness and sadness at the same time. That’s because we both were happy and sad. But I’m just sad now since I can’t see her smile anymore.

Going out there is breaking my heart. Every single day. This wasn’t suppose to be worse with goodbyes. As Bilbo Baggins use to say “it’s a dangerous business going out of your door”.

She left. She could stay hours talking to me about anything. She could and she stayed, for eight months. But the world called for her again and she needed to cross the ocean.

She left and I’m sitting here by myself, wondering if someday I would be able to understand this nostalgic feeling. Because staying might be worse than taking the airplane. Somehow I’m leaving as well.

I wonder now if she knows she is not alone, I wonder if she knows she was important to me. I don’t know if I was able to express it as it should be. I don’t know if crying would be the answer for it.

It isn’t simple to say “Thank you for everything and I wish you all the luck in this world.” Even when I mean it with all my heart. It’s not simple and it doesn’t seem enough.

To all my friends, to those who are always there somewhere.

About friendship, cooking and eating together

Recently I’ve seen a video on YouTube about smartphones. I mean, it was about people who didn’t look around because they were always looking at the display. Well, I saw it all around my Facebook and YouTube pages but I’m pretty sure most of them just shared and still looking at the display.

Well, here it’s one think, I can’t say I’m free from communications, as matter of fact I’m pretty addicted to Instagram and Facebook, I’m always checking it. But one year from now I’ve learned to get away from it.

It was a pretty easy thing, you know, with time we kind of lose the touch with most of our friends and sometimes we just make people be so useless that we don’t even make a move to get close to them once a week.

With loneliness around for being abroad I started a need hobbie. I’m not actually good at it, but I’m gettin better. I started to cook. And learned, actually, learn a need thing makes you get so excited about it that you just forget to check updates.

And with the learning I realize it was even better when I was calling my friends to check, or bring it to them. Eat alone is boring. Cook and eat together is one of the most amazing things you can do with the people you love or you just meet.

So this is a tip, maybe it might not even be a really good one, but if you are reading this I dare you to try it. Cook something for your family or whoever you are living with. Cook something for your friends, call them. (Yes, call – not text) call them and ask for help. It makes people get close in a strange level. And easy one.

Just try it once. Especially with you have a special recipe, you should share.

By the way, you can also share it with me. I would love to know what you are learning around in the kitchen. And we can even share our favorite ones.

So I never know if someone is reading this, but if you are… Try to do it and comment about it. Or give me one recipe and I would be happy to cook for my friends and tell you about it.

I’ve just got a new hobbie. And this is a plus in the ways I’ve been trying to scape from the boredom from this world and I recuse to be numb.

Collecting some goodbyes

Hell, after 9 months abroad some of the people who I met here are coming back home for summer or because their programs are done. Well, I’m staying in Europe for summertime, it’s not my time to say goodbye.

But we say it all the time. Some of these people I’ll never see again, probably just some photos on Facebook and in some months they wouldn’t even be on my feed anymore. Some one them might keep touch. I got some friends around the world who are always talking to me. But they aren’t even 10% of the people I met.

While the years are passing by you finally realize people are passing to. You might never heard they again, it doesn’t matter how much you laugh together or complain. It doesn’t matter if you love or hate. It will be all behind.

It’s not like leave home, when you leave home you kind of understand that the place will be there somehow. But when you leave a second home, that small apartment in somewhere that you shared with friends and has a lot on your life, you will never have it again.

It has its on time. And it goes away, it goes with every goodbye and hug. Saying goodbye knowing you will never see them again it’s strongly hard, even when you don’t care about it.

I know I’m never gonna have this again, not the same smiles and the same situation. It will all change again and soon. I also know it’s what I chose. And somehow I thinking missing can mean loving.

Now I just want to be sure every goodbye I say must show how much I wish happiness to the person who is hearing it.

Travelling with last money than you need

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I decided to come to Italy for two weeks right on the Easter time, of course I knew nothing would e actually cheap since it was terrible to book hostels. Then I tried to go for couchsurfing but since I’m traveling with friends it’s hard to find a place for all of us.

So I needed the money for the hostels. And that’s I got, also it isn’t cheap to go from one city to another. The trains are between 7€ and 60€ and even the buses are not that cheaper.

Firstly I went to Venice (the flight was really cheap then to Verona and Bologna. Now I’m writing from Florence. Till now I got two rides for 5€ from the Blablacar and one train. And since I was really excited about Italian food in the beginning I ate more than I should pay for it. So it’s the third day I’m going to the supermarket looking for deals and eating less.

It’s kind of sad not eating as much as you should in Italy. But ok, it’s necessary. I’m in Florence and I could stay three days without eating just to see all the museums and lovely stuffs they got here.

When you travel you kind of start to summarizing your life to eat, sleep and walk. You take off some of the usual a necessities and make everything as simple as it can be. From that I learned I didn’t need to buy more cream and I didn’t need a dessert. Also I didn’t need to stay with a good hair all the time and to do nail polish.

I need to eat, especially lasagnas and gelatos. I need to walk, the streets are unbelievable. I need to drink water (because we all need). I need to laugh and stay in the line to see Dante’s museum. I also need some rides because the train ticket to Rome is fucking expensive.

I have the money for the hostels, 10€ for food for each day. Some for museums and way less than I’m gonna need for the transport. But that’s ok. Believe me, you can do a great job if you pay attention on your on needs.

Make a list of what you really think is necessary and start to cut off some of the things.

I also realized I need a internet and this is annoying me. You know, most of us now can’t even walk around without looking at the screen. I need to look at my phone from hour to hour.

It shouldn’t be this way. I couldn’t changer this from nothing. But for now I can at least stop checking what’s app.

I have to check something else. I have to check Rome and the food for tomorrow.

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For the right to listen to One Direction

I was coming back from a Makeup shopping when I met a friend in the streets, I didn’t realize I was singing one direction before talk to him.

He stopped, his face was terrified and he said in a really disappointed that he didn’t expect that from me. Firstly, I was like “what?” And then I understood it was because of the teenage song I was singing, the kind of music he thinks it’s terrible and only dumb 12 years girls listen to it.
But well, I don’t know you, but I kind of like to listen to this kind of songs somethings. It’s not my favorite, it will never be. It’s not the song I play in the night while I’m trying to find myself. But it’s the once I sing coming back from a shopping day. Is it that bad?

Even so I have an amazing background about music in my family. I think since I was 15 I didn’t spend one single night without listen to some progressive rock songs. Actually, I already proved I knew more about it than this friend who was disappointed with me.

So I think music is like any other art expression. Somedays you want to watch a really funny movie and you don’t turn to Godfather, somedays you just watch American pie and you are good with it. This friend loves American Pie. But well, he never thought about how bad it’s the movie if you think about acting and production stuffs? Don’t know. You might like everything or nothing and even so watch everything you want.

With music, it’s the same. Music is expression, it’s human. The problem is not if you are listen to one direction, it’s if you only listen to it. Music should be free, should be freedom. You must listen to everything and try to know all about it. You will never do it though. But you can’t stay in the same kind your whole life. It’s sad.

It’s sad how some people keep listening to the style, complaining bout how music were better 50 years ago. But that’s not true. I believe music changes as humanity does. And all you have to do is look for it. You might find really good stuff, you’d rather stay listen to old famous and complaining about the new famous?

It’s just numbers by the end. You cannot, you must not stop in time. As all the art expressions music can also be with you. Should also be with you. and how could that be possible if you only stay by one station? Thinking that you are right and everything else wrong?

In the 50’s or 60’s, old people were complaint about rock n’roll. It was an evil thing from young and dumb people. Do you really want to look like somebody from the 60’s? Isn’t better to pfree your mind from it?

I’m not saying we all should listen to boybands. I’m just saying we all should listen to something new, good or not, at least once. It’s bad to read the same kind of book every year, you lose more than you gain.

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Italy, Venice and Ice cream.

Venice is the First stop from my third eurotrip, which isn’t actually eurotrip since I’m gonna to stay only in Italy. Well, this country is amazing and deserve more than one week around. Actually, two!

Venice, Verona, Florence, Pisa and Rome. Unfortunately I’m not gonna be able to visit my lovely Corneoles, but I’m gonna be back for then ASAP.

This city has the most amazing ice cream I had in life. You should try the venezziano and lemon. Maybe Nutella or whatever, I’m sure anyone should be good.

Firstly, sorry about the late, but spring break is here and we are back to road!

Some stuff that I found for now: if you come to Italy, eat! Try most of the pizzas, lasagnas and ice creams. Do not leave without eat! Don’t go to mc Donald’s or BK! Eat local food, it’s amazing (and not that expensive).

I have way more things to say but for now (typing from the iPhone since I have no free wifi in the hostel) the good is the first and specially subject. I’m coming back asap. And if you are around, let me know.

I’m missing you already

Just now, this weekend I realized I’m about to say goodbye to most of the people that I met in the last year. Probably I’ll never see again most of them. Or heard the laughs or keep the jokes. It is like I came, I had a great and important time and I’m coming back to real life like nothing had ever happened. 

Most of them are people I would never meet, never talk or even see it. But here they are, on my facebook photos, on my phone, in my books and in my heart. I’ve never thought I could meet and make so many friends and be as happy as somebody could be. I learned how to be friendly and kind with them, even when I wasn’t actually friendly with most of them. 

When I come back, I’m sure I’m gonna stay some nights looking at the photos and listening to my mind while it tries to bring everything back again. Back to my life, nothing would change that much, but inside myself I feel like I couldn’t never be the same. I’m not the same. You can see this (or at least I can) when I look at the first photo of all of this, the one I took with a girl in the airport. We were all with the wondering eyes and exciting minds.

Could we guess how brilliant and different all of this would be? No. As somebody who didn’t make new friends for a while, having a lot of them was fantastic. Laugh about anything and watching really terrible movies at 3 am wouldn’t never be my guess for this trip. How could it be?

After so many countries, so many cities and beers I realized (truly this time) there is nothing more beautiful than having people around you. You need to go by yourself to see the world is not as bad as it seems to be, life can be way better if you just believe on it. Firstly, believe in yourself and then trying to do the same with someone around you. 

You might travel the whole world and get nothing for yourself if you don’t believe. 

Right now I believe in myself, in believe in my friends back home and I believe in the new people I just met.

I believe in the French girl (I’d rather see her again than see Paris) who is the most kind person I’ve ever met, in the beautiful Belgium friend I have (the most important thing in Belgium, despite beers and chocolates). And the Dutch and the other French who sometimes seems to be exactly like me and make me believe I can actually be normal. I believe in my flatmate, despite he might be the most annoying guy I saw in my entire life. In my neighbours and classmates, they can make me laugh about myself and about anything (even water). In the Russian guy who has the same sense of humour (and hate) that I do and understand me more than myself sometimes.

I believe they all can be something good for this world as they are for myself. I also believe as a wish that they all could have the best on their lives, I’m probably not gonna see them for a while but this doesn’t change anything. I’m probably gonna miss them for a while, but well I’m already missing.